Our President's Story:
The public school system let my son
down in the worst way. He was fearless, energetic, and happy. He was
polite, respectful and considerate. Now he is nervous, anxious and
afraid.
Our battle began in August of 2004 and continued through January of
2007. My husband and I met with school officials throughout this
period. We provided photos of physical abuse as well as eye-witness
accounts of verbal abuse and social isolation. We hired a Child
Advocate. We watched the playground. Still, I couldn’t protect my
son.
The California Bully Law, SEC. 27. Section 35294.21 of the Education
Code states that schools must “…assure a safe, respectful,
accepting, and emotionally nurturing environment”
(http://www.bullypolice.org/ca_law.html).
Despite these laws, schools still do
not take the appropriate actions to protect our children from
bullies.
I believe that there should be immediate and escalating consequences
for verbal, physical and mental/emotional bullying. Clear policies
should be written and dispensed at the beginning of each school year
with a step by step process for both punishment of the offender and
resiliency skills for the victim. Currently, FERPA protects the
privacy of the bully and as a parent you are given no assurance of
how, if and when the bully was punished.
I believe that there are intricate details of school policies that
each parent should know. For instance, rights to your child’s pupil
records vs. the public records that contain notes about your child.
Advocates for Change (AfC) is a non-profit organization that intends
to amend the current anti-bully law of California, educate the
public, and hold schools accountable for their actions or lack
thereof. Our website is full of vital information and tips that I
hope will help guide you through this difficult time.
Schools take on
bullying, which is starting earlier and lasting longer
By
Michele Clock
UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER
July 9, 2007
They shoved Bailey Thompson against a wall.
They called the
thin, brown-haired boy a nerd and a freak.
After bullies threw
sticks and pebbles at him, the 11-year-old told his mother he didn't
want to go on.
“My son is telling
me he wants to die, he can't take it anymore, nobody loves him,” said
Tonya Thompson, 34, a stay-at-home mother in Santee. “And that kills a
parent to hear that.”
Thompson pulled her
son out of Rio Seco School in Santee and now home-schools him. Rio Seco
Principal Cheryl Bowen said her staff worked hard to help Bailey, and
that it is unacceptable for any child to “be hurt or perceive that
they're being hurt.”
The Santee School
District has taken steps since then to prevent and combat bullying, but
the problem persists at nearly every school across the county and
nation.
Bullying can come in
obvious forms like punching and kicking, and in more subtle forms such
as making faces behind someone's back.
“There's almost this
mentality that aggression is cool,” said Wayne Sakamoto, Safe Schools
lead coordinator for the San Diego County Office of Education. “There's
this top-dog mentality that the tougher I become, the more popular I
am.”
It is spreading to
younger and younger children in a trend Sakamoto said he has noticed
over the past seven years.
“Anecdotally, it
seems to be starting earlier, and then the scary part is it seems to be
lasting longer,” he said.
Sakamoto attributes
this in part to images in entertainment, the media and even comic books
in which the “tough guy wins.” He said some adults also are “modeling”
aggressive behaviors and not teaching enough basic etiquette and
manners.
Bullying was cited as a cause of the 2001 Santana
High School shootings that left two dead and 13 others wounded.
Court documents said Charles “Andy” Williams lashed out because he had
been bullied by neighborhood youths, though Williams later accepted sole
responsibility.
Across the region,
school districts are taking wide-ranging steps to counteract the trend.
The Carlsbad Unified
School District adopted its first anti-bullying policy in July 2006, 1˝
years after 12-year-old Matthew Gilman committed suicide after being
taunted by peers, his parents said. The boy attended the district's
Calavera Hills Middle School.
In the San Marcos
Unified School District, fourth-and fifth-graders in special jackets
patrol elementary school campuses during breaks and lunch, clipboard and
pen in hand. The program, known as the Peace Patrol, was started in the
1990s.
Chula Vista Elementary School District uses the Olweus anti-bullying
program, named after a Norwegian researcher, at 11 of its 43 campuses.
Students fill out questionnaires about bullying. Teachers and parents
learn clear rules and expectations so students know where to draw the
line. Students, parents and staff members are encouraged to report
everything.
“The kids know. They
just don't tell,” said Dennis Doyle, former assistant superintendent for
the Chula Vista district. “That code of silence starts really early.”
The San Diego
Unified School District offers a range of programs, including one
created in part by Peter Yarrow of the folk group Peter, Paul and Mary
called “Don't Laugh at Me.”
The program
encourages students to express their feelings, appreciate differences,
treat others with respect and resolve conflicts in creative ways.
Officials also have
begun to warn about cyber-bullying, a growing trend in which children
ridicule and insult one another through Web sites such as MySpace.
This spring, the
Santee School District adopted a student conduct policy with language
banning bullying.
Sakamoto conducted a
training in Santee for parents, teachers and others, as well as focus
groups with Rio Seco students, and he is planning a program this fall in
which students will learn how to help each other to not bully, call
names or act aggressively.
Seated under a
cabana in the family's backyard late last month, Tonya Thompson said
Bailey is starting to trust adults more. He has been nicer to his
younger sister. And he is sleeping in his bedroom again.
But when asked if he
felt safe, Bailey said he's still “paranoid.” He said he hides under his
blanket.
Thompson said she is
disappointed in the way the Santee School District handled her case, but
said district officials have been more receptive lately. Principal Bowen
said she feels bad if the school let Bailey down.
Bowen said she wants
teachers, parents and other staff members to report problems that they
are not able to handle to the main office.
Sometimes, social
workers are called in. Outside counselors can help, too. The students
who acted out against Bailey were punished, Bowen said, but she cannot
say how because of privacy laws.
“The fact that this
family has brought this forward as an issue is something I've taken very
seriously,” she said.
Santee
Superintendent Lis Johnson said she is focused on making sure children
are safe.
“I don't want kids
to suffer,” Johnson said. “I don't want our kids to be hurt. I want kids
to feel comfortable coming to an adult.”
A three year battle with school officials
was fruitless in stopping and preventing Bailey from being bullied.
Bailey's Mother has been forced to pull Bailey out of our public school
system and home schools him in order to protect him both physically and
emotionally.
